Day after Christmas

It somehow feels like my Christmas holiday spans from yesterday afternoon to when I begin work this afternoon at 2pm. After weeks of trying to find time, I journaled yesterday afternoon for hours, and finished the night watching Show Boat, which was a gift from my dear friend, Agey. Woke this morning from a full night's rest, about 9.5 hours, and enjoyed the morning cooking and baking in a kitchen stocked with all the kitchenware I could ask for (thanks Chris and Kenz)! Music mix playing in the background; Sinatra, Godspell, Alan Jackson, Coldplay, Beach Boys, and a little Aaron Copland...I don't know if that could have been any better. There's still laundry to do, but I'm not going to let the idea of "To Do's" ruin my current relaxed state. Excited to try my turnip soup (first time cooking with turnip) and sweet potato pie, that's currently in the oven (I've been wanting to make one since I first saw Oklahoma with Shirley Jones)! I have nine days till I arrive in L.A., CA! This year the "Day after Christmas" is more like what Christmas morning should feel like.

Good Night, Dear Heart

“Warm summer sun
                          shine kindly here,
           Warm southern wind
                         blow softly here,
           Green sod above
                         lie light, lie light,
           Good night, dear heart,
                        good night, good night”

www.danforrest.com

Muppet Christmas Carol 2011

Had a wonderful evening with my Northshore friends last night eating beef stew over white rice, a dessert buffet consisting of black coffee cake, mint chocolate chip ice cream, brownies, and saltine cookies, cocoa and baileys, and watching Muppet Christmas Carol. Although I rarely watched this movie in Ca, I can honestly say that I have devoutly watched it every winter that I have been on the East Coast.

Thank you, Lord, for writing my schedule such that I could spend a relaxing winter's night with my friends, whom I love.

Once in Royal David's City

Once in royal Davids city,
Stood a lowly cattle shed,
Where a mother laid her Baby,
In a manger for His bed:
Mary was that mother mild,
Jesus Christ, her little Child.

He came down to earth from heaven,
Who is God and Lord of all,
And His shelter was a stable,
And His cradle was a stall:
With the poor, and mean, and lowly,
Lived on earth our Saviour holy.

For He is our childhood's pattern;
Day by day, like us, He grew;
He was little, weak, and helpless,
Tears and smiles, like us He knew;
And He cares when we are sad,
And he shares when we are glad.

And our eyes at last shall see Him,
Through His own redeeming love;
For that Child so dear and gentle,
Is our Lord in heaven above:
And He leads His children on,
To the place where He is gone.

Christmas song collection

Just as I did a summer flower collection, I hope to do the same this holiday season with Christmas songs or hymns.

Here's the first selection:

Arthur Quiller-Couch, ed. 1919. The Oxford Book of English Verse: 1250–1900.

Isaac Watts. 1674–1748

435. A Cradle Hymn

HUSH! my dear, lie still and slumber,
Holy angels guard thy bed!
Heavenly blessings without number
Gently falling on thy head.
Sleep, my babe; thy food and raiment,	5
House and home, thy friends provide;
All without thy care or payment:
All thy wants are well supplied.
How much better thou'rt attended
Than the Son of God could be,	10
When from heaven He descended
And became a child like thee!
Soft and easy is thy cradle:
Coarse and hard thy Saviour lay,
When His birthplace was a stable	15
And His softest bed was hay.
Blessèd babe! what glorious features—
Spotless fair, divinely bright!
Must He dwell with brutal creatures?
How could angels bear the sight?	20
Was there nothing but a manger
Cursèd sinners could afford
To receive the heavenly stranger?
Did they thus affront their Lord?
Soft, my child: I did not chide thee,	25
Though my song might sound too hard;
'Tis thy mother sits beside thee,
And her arms shall be thy guard.
Yet to read the shameful story
How the Jews abused their King,	30
How they served the Lord of Glory,
Makes me angry while I sing.
See the kinder shepherds round Him,
Telling wonders from the sky!
Where they sought Him, there they found Him,	35
With His Virgin mother by.
See the lovely babe a-dressing;
Lovely infant, how He smiled!
When He wept, the mother's blessing
Soothed and hush'd the holy child.	40
Lo, He slumbers in His manger,
Where the hornèd oxen fed:
Peace, my darling; here 's no danger,
Here 's no ox anear thy bed.
'Twas to save thee, child, from dying,	45
Save my dear from burning flame,
Bitter groans and endless crying,
That thy blest Redeemer came.
May'st thou live to know and fear Him,
Trust and love Him all thy days;	50
Then go dwell for ever near Him,
See His face, and sing His praise!

Why, Hello Little Guys

In my gardeners ignorance, I thought in July that it would be okay to plant my newly attained white narcissus. I waited all summer for the beautiful bulbs to spring up from their pots, but to no avail. Now in the beginning of November, I'm finally starting to see some action:

And it also looks as though I'll soon have a tomato to eat:

Stock

Blooms spring to fall. Good cover for bulbs when they've finished flowering. Likes nooks and crannies.

I love them.

Untitled

How many

Times will my heart

Dive down below

Just to rise again then be

Pressed to the floor?

In all, I

Try, love anew.

My hopes dive, rushed

Toward earth and despair,

Spinning to stop.

At what point

Does my heart learn,

Come to know,

That this field of air

Takes no pris’ners?

Halloween Ideas

Potential Costumes:

Miss Scarlet, from boardgame, Clue
Princess Lolly, from boardgame, Candy Land
Lancer Volleyball player, from LSHS
Dunkin Donuts employee, from my uniform I never wore

Any other suggestions?

Am I Writing Enough

One of my guilty pleasures as a blogger is to check the amount of blogs I write per month, and then try to average about the same amount or more to maintain an even documentary. This may be out of my desire to have some control in my life, and/or also because, if you know me at all, I love my projects. Yes, this particular post may be my way of increasing the statistics of the month of September, but I also think there will be good words to follow. While adding to the monthly collection of posts is most certainly is an intrinsic goal of mine, and not just a petty obsession, this time to write let's me look back on this month, and has left me reflecting on all the things that have happened which have prevented me from the online updates (out of chronological order):

• Began my Abnormal Psychology class
• Signed up to walk in for the National Brain Tumor Association
• Began writing the candy order at Trader Joe's
• Began teaching voice lessons at Shore Country Day School
• Began church choir season
• Started reading through the book of Isaiah
• Started volunteering for Northeast Arc
• Spent time with Vangie in the hospital, almost went in 3 days a week for the first two weeks of September
• Vangie died
• Went to Vangie's memorial service
• Been starting to try to reconnect with friends in the area, and pursuing those friendships
• Watched my plumeria plant grow

I can't believe so many things have started this month, and ended. This is just a physical list of what has been on my plate, not mentioning all of the brain power I've been using to make certain activities at work successful, the details of homework for class, and the emotional struggle and exhaustion from grieving.

Tomorrow is the walk to fight brain tumors, October 1, 2011.

Pray for me as a new month begins.

Growing Up with Brothers

I'm learning about and recognizing how growing up with brothers has shaped me as a person and in my relationships toward my guy friends:

• I'm used to seeing guys in comfy and casual dress attire, usually including a t-shirt versus a button-down. Even though that's pretty common, whenever I see a guy friend in a t-shirt, I still can't help but make a quick smile as I think about it.
• I had to eat quickly and get my share of meals before the boys ate all the food! Most of the time, labeling leftovers worked, but then again, other times you just never knew. In this way, I'm usually able to keep up at the dinner table whenever the guys are around, or if I'm eating with girlfriends, I usually get my share of the meal.
• A punch in the arm, or other form of torture, just means that I love you.

These are the general lessons of/with brothers, and I deeply love both of mine, but something very cute happened at church this morning that I also want to mention from the other side of the life. 

I was able to see the girls I babysat during the summer as they were visiting their grandparents' church. The youngest came up to me during the after-church luncheon, and told me how she dropped her fork on the ground and needed a new one so could I walk with her to get a new fork because she didn't want to go by herself. :) I willing obliged, and secretly loved that she felt like she needed and wanted my presence, security and help for something as simple as getting a plastic fork. She took my hand as we walked five steps from my seat to the table with the plasticware. We carefully selected a new fork and walked back to her seat. I then asked her where her old fork was. Lo, and behold, it was still on the ground where it fell, so I picked it up and asked if she could throw it away in the trash can. 

Upon her return I wanted to provide some positive reinforcement (which is a topic that comes up in my psychology class often) for cleaning up after her mess, so thought it would be really cool to hold out my hand so she could give me a high-five. I feel like my parents introduced me to high-fives as a form of positive reinforcement at an early age even as a girl, and then they also did so with my brothers. Also, assuming that holding out your hand for high-fives is a fairly common gesture I didn't precede the motion with any cool saying in megaphone voice, like "HIGH-FIVE!" When the little girl finally came back proud of her accomplishment and then seeing my hand, instead of forcefully joining our hands together to make a fun clapping sound, she softly just put her hand into mine. Then I had a quick moment of realization: she is growing up with sisters, and holding hands to do things is much more common than a "Gimme five" hand slap, like I did with brothers. At that moment, my heart softened a bit and I smiled and held her hand as I helped her back into her seat. I am so grateful for that God made girls and gives us sisters, and simple joys they bring to life through companionship.

Last one...

A hunt you’ll find

Is lots of fun,

But now your quest

Is almost done.

This final clue,

And then your treat,

Look down below

Under your seat…

Evangelyna Etienne

September 7, 1990 - September 11, 2011

I am so glad I was able to hang out with you and that we were able to spend much of the summer together.  We looked up scholarships together, you let me bum off your Internet, we cooked and baked, decorated your room with posters and pictures, did laundry, went on McDonald's outings, shopped for groceries, and watched Project Runway and Down Home with the Neelys along with many other Food Network shows. ;)

I think one of the things that I appreciated about you the most is how you took on life with such a "can do" attitude. You didn't let fear rule your decisions and ambitious nature like I do. Even though I am scared to audition for roles and scholarships, you consistently encouraged me to audition and helped me research for various openings in choirs in Boston. You prescribed good vocal literature to me that would suit my voice well. You praised me for my unique voice and sound. Even when sometimes I felt like I should be encouraging you through your battle, you were the strong one helping me.

I want you to know that spending time with you this summer was not a burden to me. You may have felt that it was, asking for me to come over when I wasn't working, but I viewed our time together as time of friendship. For some reason, I didn't get to share much time with you while I was a student at Gordon, and I don't think we were close friends. But I am so grateful that my work schedule this summer allowed me the time I had with you. To come along side of you and love you. If I had taken a 9am-5pm job like many of my friends, we wouldn't have been able to share the time that we did have together. God has an ultimate plan, doesn't He? While I felt so lonely this summer being separated from most of my circle of friends because of work, He sent you for companionship for me. I thought I was alone, but no, you Vangie, became a source of comfort and presence for me. So for that, thank you.

I know you are now at peace. The pain and angst that you were facing till the end is over and you have new life in a perfect body free to proclaim Truth and God's glory as you strove to do during your time with us. You now can easily move with freedom and grace. Your instrument is not inhibited by earthly limitations, but you can sing out with refined resonance. You're home, dear. With your Momma. I will remember and cherish my time on earth with you, but I know we will sing together again in heaven when I am also called home, and then I will see you.

A song in remembrance of you:

Fall Goals

• Read one of the books Megan is required for class so we can have literary bonding time
• Finish Little Women
• Go to Orchard House
• Prepare new music to perform for Northeast Arc
• Complete fundraising and walk for the NBTS
• Successfully complete Abnormal Psychology
• Practice piano to prepare for voice lessons
• Research grad schools
• Dream and explore personal and professional interests
• Commit to cleaning my room thoroughly once a week (even if it needs it more frequently. I don't want to get ahead of myself.)
• Be a good pen pal
• Continue caring for my plants, and possibly attain new ones...
• Become a better order writer for work

National Brain Tumor Society Boston Walk

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Boston, MA

Follow my progress or make a donation here:

http://www.braintumorcommunity.org/goto/vangie

Summer Goals List: Update 8/25/11

Update, 8/8/11

Summer Goals List Update, 8/4/11

Summer Goals List

1. Finish the Harry Potter Book and Movie Series
2. Plant a garden
3. Successfully complete my online psych class two weeks left!
4. Finish arranging my room Bed is painted!
5. Go for a hike
6. Read a Shakespearean play Picked out, Othello
7. Saturday morning pancake breakfasts
8. Road trip to ME I didn't make it to ME, but Kassandra did come and visit with me in MA.
9. Go sailing
10. ...

Piecing Time With Kay!

One of my very good friends Kassandra came to visit with me for two days before she continued her road trip down to TN for school. We did many fun things like have a Dr. Quinn marathon, pancakes for dinner, shopping, barbecue together, look through soprano music, watch Cinderella, and of course, do this puzzle while watching the movie. I forgot how similar we are and what it's like to be around someone else who is as fast-paced, or faster, than me! I love that we still laugh together on similar pitches and sigh at the same time. Many of our reactions are the same, and we love to get excited. "Holla!"

Dr. Quinn

So I finally hopped on the band wagon with the roommates and started watching Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman. I say that not because I didn't like the show. In fact, I remember watching a few episodes with my mom growing up and loving every minute of it. It definitely appeals to my fancy to the old west and settling new territory, a similar intrigue as Little House on the Prairie.

My hesitation in watching the movies with Meg and Evie before is that I knew I would fall to this level of little self restraint and obsession with watching the entire series, and that is exactly what has happened. I may or may not have stayed up a couple hours after getting home from work and watched two episodes in a row. I may or may not have spent most of today spending time with Kay and Evie finishing about 7 episodes of Season 1.

Although I'm not a big advocate for television shows, I must say that this show is bringing up very good ideas for me to think about: moral issues, level of standards, family, love, ambition, etc.

Can't wait for the next episode!

In Bloom

I am finally reaping the benefits and beauty from the little seed I planted.

Bed finished

His Eye Is on the Sparrow

1. Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
   Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heav’n and home,
   When Jesus is my portion? My constant Friend is He:
   His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
   His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
   • Refrain:
     I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free,
     For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
2. “Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
   And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
   Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
   His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
   His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
3. Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
   When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
   I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
   His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
   His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Psalm 19 New King James Version (NKJV)

Psalm 19

To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David.

 ¹ The heavens declare the glory of God;
         And the firmament shows His handiwork.
 ² Day unto day utters speech,
         And night unto night reveals knowledge.
 ³ There is no speech nor language
         Where their voice is not heard.
 ⁴ Their line^[a] has gone out through all the earth,
         And their words to the end of the world.
        
         In them He has set a tabernacle for the sun,
 ⁵ Which is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
         And rejoices like a strong man to run its race.
 ⁶ Its rising is from one end of heaven,
         And its circuit to the other end;
         And there is nothing hidden from its heat.
        
 ⁷ The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul;
         The testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple;
 ⁸ The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart;
         The commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes;
 ⁹ The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever;
         The judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.
 ¹⁰ More to be desired are they than gold,
         Yea, than much fine gold;
         Sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.
 ¹¹ Moreover by them Your servant is warned,
         And in keeping them there is great reward.
        
 ¹² Who can understand his errors?
         Cleanse me from secret faults.
 ¹³ Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins;
         Let them not have dominion over me.
         Then I shall be blameless,
         And I shall be innocent of great transgression.
        
 ¹⁴ Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
         Be acceptable in Your sight,
         O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer.

Tumblr

Most of my pictures from my phone and quotes from books I'm reading are here! Check it out.

Update, 8/8/11

Update, 8/8/11

Summer Goals List Update, 8/4/11

Summer Goals List

1. Finish the Harry Potter Book and Movie Series
2. Plant a garden
3. Successfully complete my online psych class two weeks left!
4. Finish arranging my room Bed is painted!
5. Go for a hike
6. Read a Shakespearean play Picked out, Othello
7. Saturday morning pancake breakfasts
8. Road trip to ME
9. Go sailing
10. ...

Happy morning

This is my morning: Meggie, MacBook, Japanese bowl, cups that remind me of home, cute little moleskin planner, and career day notice at Lesley University.

Summer Goals List Update, 8/4/11

Summer Goals List

1. Finish the Harry Potter Book and Movie Series
2. Plant a garden
3. Successfully complete my online psych class
4. Finish arranging my room
5. Go for a hike
6. Read a Shakespearean play
7. Saturday morning pancake breakfasts
8. Road trip to ME
9. Go sailing
10. ...

Birds of Paradise

  

I used to really not like the Bird of Paradise plant. To me they looked ugly and rigid and pointy, erring more on the side of an "evil" flower versus the pure good-natured rose. Mom had a few of the big bushes (bigger than the one above) in the backyard when I was growing up, tucked back in the corner by the fence. It wasn't until I began school at Gordon College and moved away from this tropical plant that I began to appreciate its beauty and unique design. I love how brightly colored they are. And instead of pointy and sharp, I more importantly see these flowers as expressive and calling of attention. They can say to their admirers, 

"Spring up, look out! I'm here and not following the stereotypical floral beauty, but love me and cherish me for my bright and creative way of living. I know that my life is good and naturally I am an individual flower, surrounded by others of my kind, but if you put me in a vase with different flowers, my beauty shows just as strong and often complements the other buds around me."

Trader Joe's

My new job is going quite well. I love the people that I work with. They're really fun, encouraging, and super helpful to my newbie status.

I've definitely toughened up the past month that I've been there. I noticed last night that my volleyball legs have returned and my quads are definitely protruding a bit more than they did in late Spring. My mind and body also like to think that I've dropped a few pounds, or at least toned a bit from the repetitive exercise. I'm actually sore after work. Each day and night before and after my shift I take a little extra time to stretch to help my muscles stay calm and collected. That is one difference from adolescence to now. In high school I knew stretching was good for me and I liked it, but now I really need to do it to help me get around the next day without hobbling across the apartment. I like the fact that I get exercise at work, and this way there really is no need for me to covet a gym membership. More materialistically speaking now, my arms and legs are also quite bruised as a result of my fearless raid on each box of cereal, chips, or dried fruit and nuts. While I got cool color-changing bruises on my hips and knees from volleyball, the quantity of brown spots all over my body makes me feel like an overripe banana. Oh well, I view them as battle scars, and proof of my fierce and efficient perspective on being a hard working employee.

Not only have I noticed a physical change, but a change in myself. Part of that is my grumpiness and irritability from the change in sleeping patterns and exhaustion of my body, but also from these physical limits I am making other life limits too. This simple job is helping me to prioritize in my life what I have, what's in front of me, and what I want. For the first two weeks in July when I wasn't working, I was able to devote much of my time to reading and solo activities that I do just for me. A huge part of that has been spending time reading a vast genre of books, and actively and lovingly pursuing my Creator through reading my Bible and journaling. This yearning and devotion to read, study, taking quite time to sort through my thoughts has carried into the latter half of the month and taken the front burner to many other free-time activities. While I am sad to not always share the companionship of my friends in the North Shore, my time to myself is much needed and for that I am grateful that I have it. But this time is not always just by myself, I know I am in good company of my God, the Ultimate Companion. All this to say, that work is going well and I can see ways that my being there is good for me on many levels.

Goals for the next month of working at Trader Joe's:

• Remain injury free (because I don't count the bruises, mostly figuratively speaking, but that can be applied literally as well)!
• Become faster and more efficient with the price gun
• Be trained on register
• Have everyone's name memorized (except the few people who I never have met and will never see)
• Make one purchase at Trader Joe's and reap the benefits of my 10% employee discount

(I know these are very realistic, but purposely so, so I can achieve them. Haha!)

Hibiscus

This flower always reminds me of California. My parents have a few of these bushes in the back yard next to the garage...red, white, and yellow, I think. They look so fresh and tropical, I can't help but feel better when I see them.

The hibiscus is also the logo on my Trader Joe's t-shirts. Yes, it's a definite plus to my work uniform. We started selling a hibiscus plants at the store today. They were little plants, hardly like the grown bushes at home. I'm tossing the idea with getting one...

Other cool things about the hibiscus is that it attracts bees and butterflies and is used in tea.

Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences

In my psychology class, we're in the section about Theories of Intelligence. So to help understand the material, and myself, better, I decided to take a proactive approach of interacting with the material. Here are the results from an intelligence test based on Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences:

***

Intelligence Type Your totals Linguistic 25 Logical-Mathematical 33 Musical 38 Bodily-Kinesthetic 25 Spatial-Visual 29 Interpersonal 24 Intrapersonal 35

To download the test I took for yourself, click here.

Jesus, I Am Resting

Jesus, I am resting, resting in the joy of what You are;
I am finding out the greatness of Your loving heart.

You have bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Your beauty fills my soul,
For by Your transforming power
You have made me whole.

Simply trusting You, Lord Jesus, I behold You as You are,
And Your love, so pure, so changeless, satisfies my heart;

Satisfies my deepest longings,
meets, supplies my ev'ry need,
and surrounds me with its blessings:
Yours is love indeed!

Ever lift Your face upon me as I work and wait for Thee;
Resting 'neath Your smile, Lord Jesus, earth's dark shadows flee.

Brightness of my Father's glory,
sunshine of my Father's face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting,
fill me, fill me with Your grace.

Due

I think I am past due for a more serious blog entry. While taking a few minutes to do a bit of research on various plants has been fun for me, there are more things going on in my life than just gardening.

The past few weeks I have been back in Massachusetts after a wonderful week visiting family in Whittier. My trip home was truly restful and full of quality time with people in my life who will always love me and support me in all that I do. I only wish I had more time there with them. I went into this trip with a mindset of ease, meaning I have no agenda except to be with my family and people I love. Some days were quiet ones at home and others were spent out and about in LA or visiting grandparents. I tried to do a bit of documenting, but more pictures of the week's activities would have been nice.

The trickiest part of the vacation was the week back here in MA afterwards. After most vacations, I need some time to process what has happened anyway, and shortly after returning to Peabody in addition to the trip-processing, I had to begin processing Grandy's health as it took a turn for the worse. This was the first time that there have been health issues with one of my grandparents and I wasn't close by. Being so far away, I was physically unable be supportive and helpful with what needed to happen to care for Grandy, which was different from the close proximity I had when Grandpa and Grandad were in and out of the hospital.

As a result, I retreated most days to the "corners of my mind," not only thinking about the previous week and childhood memories, but also of what may come and how I might respond. I know my dark and disturbed days caused some distress to my roommates and friends in the Northshore, but at the time, I couldn't care about hiding my "poopy" attitude. I had bigger things to think about. In my self-centered world, I was not in a place to be thankful for or even acknowledge their sympathies and sometimes even their presence, yet I still wanted the reassurance of their company at a distance.

Well I got the distance. It so happened that the upcoming week was Fourth of July weekend and many of my friends and all of my roommates were heading out of town for the weekend. This just about caused me to never leave my room again out of depression (except for the fact that I would be cat-sitting and had to). While outwardly upset and feeling abandoned, I knew that I needed this time alone.

The Holy Spirit has been stirring in me, helping me to try to figure out what is going on in my life. It really is prayer answered, as I had been asking that God reveal to me areas in my character and life that I need to work on. The surge of emotion that was seeded with Grandy's poor health, lit a more quiet but unsettled sense in me, like an undetermined craving. It wasn't until I was left alone with God, without the safety and distractions of my family, friends, and roommates, that I would actually turn to Him and face whatever it is He wanted to lay before me.

I rested. Spent time doing activities on my own that I enjoyed doing solely for myself. Gardening. Reading. Generally when I'm with other people, I self-impose activities and ideas to accommodate them or what they would give preference to, but this time it was just me. Being alone made it okay for me to  feel like I was allowed that sense of selfishness.

I went to Romans. I had been thinking about wanting to study this book of the Bible for a while, and what finally got me to go there was a quote from Chuck Smith, a pastor whose sermons I often listen to, 

"Any time you get discouraged, any time you're down, just dig into Romans 8. You can't get though that chapter to the end, and not just be...on top of the world. Look at it, in detail."

I clung to Romans 8. For a few days, I just read that chapter alone out loud, hearing my own voice say the words. From there, I have begun going through the book, chapter by chapter, doing my own study. Coming to terms with the material there. Building my foundation in doctrine. Making connections between the truths I have in my heart and putting them with the Word of God. I pray the the Holy Spirit intercedes for me and helps me to understand what I am reading, so that I take God's word as it is, and not twisting it into something else. I know I am far from having a portion of understanding of what the entire book has to offer, but for now, I am being rooted in my relationship with God.

My life is changing. I feel like I've finally clambered onto the boat and we've just pushed off the dock. I'm getting my bearings and my land legs are adjusting. The boat is still a bit wobbly from the push off, but I'm sensing the rhythm that will soon come from the boat's power and direction against the waves of the sea. It's hope. I'm learning hope.

Filling my mind

Trying to read more. I'm in the zone.

Follow me on Goodreads at:
 http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/1672039-kathryn-hayashi

Celandines

These are the first flowers that Edmund notices at the coming of Spring while riding on the White Witch's sleigh. As a tie to the story, Wikipedia says, "celandine comes from the Latin chelidonia, meaning swallow: it was said that the flowers bloomed when the swallows returned and faded when they left.^[1] "  Also, to some, they are considered a weed, but they have special medicinal properties. One includes the dried herb combined with hot water serves as a cure to dermatatis and other skin-related rashes. Many other authors in addition to Lewis mention celandines: William Wordsworth, J.R.R Tolkein, D.H. Lawrence. Check out the references here.

Daylilies

These are definitely going in the front bed.

Comes, sound, bares, shakes

“Wrong will be right, when Aslan comes in sight,
At the sound of his roar, sorrows will be no more,
When he bares his teeth, winter meets its death
And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again.”

—	C.S. Lewis The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Too deep

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the heart knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Romans 8:26, 27

Campanula

Meggie surprised me on my arrival day from Ca with a little pot of Campanula!  They're cute, little, and purple, so how could they go wrong.  Admittedly, I cried when she gave them to me.  I really need this little bit of life and love right now.

Latin for "little bell"
In England it's called, "Harebell."
In Scotland it's called, "Bluebell."
It's associated with the species Rampion Bellflower, which the Grimm Brothers refer to in Rapunzel.

To bring back

• Puzzles
• Mug
• Narnia Books
• Les Miserables, book
• Twister
• Movies
• Classical DVDs and CDs
• Bulbs and pots
• Blanket
• Hannah Hurnard books?
• Grandma's Christmas ornaments
• Beach towel
• Little Storage box
• Auntie Midori's jewelry
• Vases?
• Totoro
• Christmas Classics movies

One Day Full

Front porch

Most of the day, 11:30-1pm, 3-6pm

Compulsive buys, 1:30-3pm

Chinese Buffet, 6:30pm

Slashed tire, 10:20pm

Ankle of Sprain (occurence), 6:30pm

My handiwork, 11:45pm

Let the fun begin, 12:15am

All in a day's work.

Color Quiz

Results

Your Existing Situation

"Works hard and is actively pursuing her goals; however, she feels unappreciated and doesn't see any reward for her efforts."

Your Stress Sources

Feeling empty and isolated from others and trying to bridge the gap between herself and others. Wants to live life to the fullest and experience as much as possible. she cannot stand any restrictions or obstacles put in her way and only longs to be free.

Your Restrained Characteristics

Has strong emotional demands and is picky when it comes to choosing a partner. she chooses to remain emotionally distant and uninvolved in relationships.

"Current situation makes her feel unable to prove himself, but tries to make the best of things."

"Is emotionally demanding, especially during intimate moments, which leaves her feeling frustrated because she is unable to find a perfect union."

Current events leave her feeling forced into compromise in order to avoid being cut off from affection or future cooperation.

Your Desired Objective

"Finds pleasure in the finer things of life. Wishes to over-indulge in a lavish, luxurious lifestyle."

Your Actual Problem

Longs the freedom to make her own decisions and plans without the criticism and restrictions of others. Uses her charm to deal with others and get what she wants.

Your Actual Problem #2

Fears others will try to hold her back from achieving her goals and the things she wants. Puts on the charm and can be manipulative towards others hoping she can get them to do as she wishes and making it easier for her to reach her own goals.

Delphinium

Meg and I saw these while shopping today, and discussed growing a blue garden.

Fun Facts:

• Part of the buttercup family
• Also known as Larkspur
• Pollinated by bumble bees and butterflies
• Most species are toxic
• Named for the flowers' resemblance to a dolphin's bottle-like nose